God, Why Have I Been so Inauthentic?

Why have I been so inauthentic? I’m not really asking God, but maybe I am. I have been hiding behind this veil of what I think I should be like, and what will everyone think of that person I think I should be? (Because they sure as heck won’t like the person I really am, or maybe they would really like it, and THEN what?). You know, so many brilliant people speak about authenticity, so I won’t plunge into that worthy and complex topic right now but what I will say is that I have been inauthentic.

I have been hiding behind articles that are close, but they are not complete. I have been storing ideas in my mind, with only small shares on Facebook maybe. I have these waves of inspiration, and think, “Wow! That can really help someone. I will write it one day.” And these are the thoughts I think and how I make my self feel better as I sit behind my keyboard scared to death of the keystrokes that convey what I am thinking and feeling, to convey parts of me that aren’t even really me. Instead I default to checking email, or typing in “F” into my browser and watching as Facebook populates. I just rememeberd, it was Tim Ferris who said that the reason he could do all of what he does is that he does not have attachement to the ideas that he is expressing, because if he did, he wouldn’t be able to write, speak and accomplish what he has. God, that’s freaking brilliant. We are not our ideas. It’s OK to change your mind, to learn and grow. We think that because we believe something so passionately, that we must be tied to that belief forever? Are the beliefs of our childhood obliged to stay with us until adolescence? Then why should they of our 30’s, or 40’s, or 50’s or 80’s even, stay with us into the next decade? We are, if we are lucky, ever growing, ever changing, ever evolving individuals. Let’s celebrate that. The discussion of ideas is often too heavily laden with controversy and being careful of what others will think or feel, or offending people. I don’t want to live in that world, so I’m going to start sharing without fear – okay so I probably will still have fear, okay so certianly will have fear, but I will share, despite the fear. Yeah, that’s the stuff, and maybe you could too. Really though, I really invite you whole heartedly to post comments, a dialogue if you will. If you are taking the time to read, then say something. It does not have to be anything fancy, just a “hey, I thought that was awesome”, or “hey, I totally disagree”, or simply “hey”.

What are your thoughts on inauthenticity in our lives, what roles does it play? Is it necessary?

Thanks folks!!

Donna
Long Beach, CA
September 19th, 2013