Letting the Smoke Clear: For Once in My Life I Smell Good or 30 Days as a Non-Smoker

It is about an hour and half into my thirty days as a non-smoker, as a clean air breather. If you are a smoker and you are afraid of quitting, if it actually strikes a fear within your heart so much so that you light up at the very thought, hold on, and it’s OK to light up as you read this. I know exactly how you feel, and you too can quit.

When I began on my journey to quit, I couldn’t imagine day 30. The first few weeks wouldn’t let me imagine it. It was an emotional crisis at every turn, and each one screamed louder than the one before, “YOU WILL NEVER BE NORMAL AGAIN UNLESS SMOKE A CIGARETTE!!” Lies. I can’t believe what a liar you are, what a liar that addictive nature is. Pulling, pushing, prodding, just to get at that one thing – it knows every button you have, every weakness, every love, every hurt and every joy. But please believe me when I say, not only will you feel normal, you will feel better.

 When you catch yourself pouting, knock it off. Remember, you are doing the best thing you can for yourself, EVER. That’s a strong but true statement. Not only will you regain confidence (yes, quitting can smash your confidence, such a paradox), regain your edge, but you will surpass the edge you thought you had. You will be fully conscious. You will respect yourself more, and you will, yes, love yourself more. There’s something distinctly self-loathing about giving yourself low-doses of poison several times throughout the day. Even if you did not loathe yourself before this, it causes the self loathing.

One of the most surprising aspects is, that even though I smoked for so long, I have adapted to not smoking relatively quickly and easily. I think this is part of what psychs us out in the beginning. You think to yourself that you have been smoking for X amount of years, be it 2, 5, 10, 15, 20 or more and that it will take you a good amount of time to get over it. Well, let me tell you this, every part of your being wants you to quit smoking. Every part of your being will function better when you quit smoking. It’s the most natural thing in the world not to do. It’s only the mental and physical dependence that makes it seem otherwise and our very own personal brainwashing technique. 

You see, we have to tell ourselves some pretty elaborate stories in order to continue to smoke. We have to get in pretty deep denial and build, and rebuild that house of cards. Only with honestly and a true look at ourselves does it come crumbling down, and it may very well be painful. I’m certain that the pain you feel through the process of quitting is a grieving. The grieving process definitely happens, but it’s not for the loss of cigarettes. I think it’s coming to terms to the reality of what you have been doing to yourself. When I was in the hypnotherapist’s office, realizing what I had been doing to myself for so many years, I was flooded by tears, by remorse and a deep sense of apology. It’s really sad to think about it but amazingly uplifting to think you can turn it all around. The stages of grief are nonetheless painful, but they will make you stronger and better. The pain is like a catharsis, a cleansing, and also, a tool for powerful transformation. Remember, what you are doing is the single best thing you can ever do for yourself, ever, so keep it up. I will return down the road as the process continues to unfold.
30 Days – Smoke Free: RECAP

720 hours without a cigarette

37.3 hours saved = at 4 minutes per cigarette (almost a full work week!)

162 dollars saved @ $5.40 per pack

5,600 fresh breaths taken, toxic breaths avoided @ 10 hits per cigarette (conservative #)

Once again, email donnasayed@hotmail.com with any questions, tips, support or anything about quitting.